Monday, November 21, 2011

oh well




looks like the sick fuck that caused me to leave here has returned...not sure what I am going to do...please let me know if any of you are having "weird" happenings from"strangers"...

the twisted mind of unstable assholes can be a bit much to deal with...I suppose I will have to go to "invite only" status....in that case, I will send out requests

I thank you all for your support and wish nothing but nightmarish Freddy Kruegeresque catastrophic events to permeate the life of the one responsible...for starters

Peace

p.s. if anyone would like more information on the party involved, I will gladly provide IP address(es), home and phone information upon request

also, any suggestions on protecting my site here would be appreciated...I realize that I will probably have to start a new site and lock it down...how much fun is that?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Susie and Dave


30 years since the facts 
became friction, I found myself
lost, more than most times before
sitting in my past, on a sofa
with Susie and Dave, they were friendly 

Susie liked to ingest cocaine
in a combustible format and was known
by many, to favor the barter system
some called her a crack whore
I called her my friend
Dave called her things, but mostly Q

He was ex-military, a misnomer for sure
for he insisted a lot from Susie
PUT MY LIGHTER BACK
LEAVE MY PIPE ALONE
GET ME A BEER
and she did, and sat right next to him
and they would collapse in each other 
after every hit, and hold on for the next 

it was Louisiana hot that night
I felt a coolness on my skin, my guard dropped
and flooded my sensibilities, 
we were talking and I let it all go, 
it was dramatic, 
to the point where they put down the pipe, 

the AC kicked off
and as sweat congealed with sadness, Susie touched me
not that way...more profoundly...
"you miss your Dad, don't ya'?"


I took her and looked in her eyes
deeper than oceans, and replied,
"no, I don't miss him...I missed him"

that was the moment in my life 
that saved me from sadness
the moment, when I knew what was wrong with me
all of the fractured windows and mirrors came back together
it was a moment never to be found, had I not made friends
with Susie and Dave, the crack whore and womanizer

rad062609

see more @ 

Thematic Photographic 170 "frosted"

defrosted

rd112408

how hip were we



the message died
in cloudy mornings, soiled sofas
group hugs explaining nothing
and beating drums went silent

...reinforcements never arrived
and we burned another notion
popped another dream
injected more concepts
swallowing the uncool aid

so we chanted Peace
while fucking our friends minds
why couldn't we believe ourselves
what if the loner stoner was heard
and the rallies didn't melt in our hands

ok, we were right
and now we're what...
wrong?
or simply victims of last night's party

look in the ashtrays
under the tables
perhaps the tea leaves can tell us
that bong water won't float hope

----
rd051811

Sunday, November 13, 2011

fuck it list



bucket lists are bullshit
what a waste of time
living for dreams
you didn't believe in
chasing crippled notions and
following losers to the gray zone
of equality

in the waning moments
awareness sets in and now
you're ready?
for what,

a certain sunset
to share with yourself

a thirty minute meal
overpriced and consumed, reduced
to a golden crap

puking in some unpronounceable ocean
because you saw a movie and.....

how about a kick in your ass
for not
doing more when you were...alive

when the grind was eating your soul
so the kids could be
happy or
the endless evenings spent smiling
at the table set just so, like a Williams-Sonoma ad
the one your ex-wife swore the Wilson's did not have,
yet

just because Mr. Handcock drove a Jag
you bought the Bentley
showing neighbors how important
you think…you are 

the dust on your heels confirms,
dreamers die slower deaths
I say, let's speed up the process
.
.
.
I'm working on my list
my, fuck it list

going nowhere and melting
into myself, at peace with me
even as the red ants of fate dine on my bones,
constant comfort is near

fuck it allows me to breathe
to rejoice in loss
as heroic waves wash my tears away

fuck it to the controlled chaos
the purposeful ignorance that shelters so many

their dark caverns, where books rust
and imagery comes in bills and reruns

fuck it serves me freedom
to soar above the hatred of evening newscasts
the murderous rage so far from my door

one click turns me off, the next
takes me mountaintop high

I vote Fuck It for President
Fuck It for the New World Leader

my new favorite team,
The Fighting Fuck It's
never a concern for victory
as all are winners

so kick your bucket list
to the curb
and step up to say

“FUCK IT”

you'll be glad you did

rd060611

Saturday, November 12, 2011

in her head



her aura is opaque
Spring green eyes, a trademark
the passive frown she holds
claims all takers

after three weeks in therapy
her answers are getting vague
apparently
or perhaps it's the questions
lulling her into lies

I saw her in the hall today
this corridor of shame
where a head held high threatens 
and somehow a smile, confesses truth

I asked if she felt like smoking with me
you know, outside
where light has a color
and sounds refute sterility
but she couldn't answer right then
as the first pill of the day had her

in my ignorance, I smiled and said
nothing, yet she had heard enough
from me

and I watched her pass
washing the walls with her palms
each tile an important tone
a texture only she could feel

I wanted her to turn back
but my role call was next
and I had a story to design
for the smiles that love to listen
between coffee breaks and paperwork


rd102410

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

it's everywhere




amidst the beauty
horror lurks, crawling
against defenseless skin
shredding the pristine glow
that masquerades the truth

urban realities exist
a purpose buried beneath the noise

screaming infants, deny us
wallowing sirens, accuse us
fading Sun's, forgive us

and an overgrown corner lot
holds tomorrow, a fledgling stalk
grasps for the sky, begging
to be used, to deliver a notion
to receive your gift of acceptance

in darkest morning's light,
revelation demands release
so we scream, unheard
and unheld, yet begging
for the beauty to save us
from the horror
of Life

rd010511
------


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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bluetiful



in a boys eyes
blue
nothing else

soft blue
eyes
turned blue

sad as life
blue
still blue

oceans wide
blue

in a man's eyes
blue

he is
blue

his life is...bluetiful
.
.

after looking at beige
I am certain
more so than ever
I was meant to be

Blue